I wish I were a better dancer than I am, but I definitely got the short-end of the rhythm stick. If I dance with a man who can lead me, then I can do ok, but it still isn't going to look much better than a horse prancing backwards. Maybe my dancing ineptitude is why God chose to speak to me through a dance.
During communion at church the other day, God showed me a picture of me dancing with Jesus. "Stop looking at your feet," Jesus gently whispered in my ear. "But how will I know the steps?" was my incredulous reply. I don't know the steps to any dance, and I always look at my feet—or at least other people's feet—so I can copy them. I kept trying to back away from Jesus so I could look at my feet, watch His feet, and try to follow His steps. It wasn't working. Not once did Jesus get upset with me. His eyes were trained on mine, with a loving smile across his lips. He would nod to me assuringly, and He pressed His hand on the small of my back, bringing me ever closer to Him.
He never lost his patience, and He whispered in my ear, "The closer you are to Me, the less you have to know the steps." I gazed upon His countenance, and He said, "Press into me, and feel the steps." I gave up trying to know the steps and pressed into Him. The closer I got to Him, the less I needed to know the steps--I could literally feel when His muscles moved, so I could instinctively move in a mirrored manner. It made me realize that I don't have to have anything in life figured out if I'm dancing with Jesus and moving when He moves. I have to trust in Him that He will equip me and be my guide. I have to learn to two-step out in faith whether I feel adequate or not.
It’s been said that, “God doesn’t always call the equipped—He equips the called.” Basically, it is saying that God will call you to do something, and you won’t necessarily know what you’re doing. He's asking you to follow Him in faith. His grace will provide a way for you to accomplish His purpose. 2 Corinthians 12:9 says, "But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me." Inevitably, at some point, we will be unsure about ourselves and feeling inadequate in our own power. All He needs is someone who is willing to step out in faith--even when we don’t know what we’re doing.
I want this same availability and willingness in someone I marry. I don’t want (nor do I expect) perfection in a man. I am fully aware that no one is perfect, and we have all sinned and fallen short. I want someone who knows and accepts that he’s incapable of being a good husband, provider or spiritual leader on His own. And yet he’s still willing to do it anyway because he knows that God’s grace is sufficient. I want a man who doesn’t have to have it all figured out before he takes the first step. I want someone who is willing to take it step by step and learn and grow in the Lord with me. If he had it all figured out, then there's no need for God.
After God gave me the vision of me dancing with Jesus, I asked God where my husband is in this picture. I couldn't see how any man could fit in to that perfect picture of Jesus and me on the dance floor. Every time, I would see a man try to cut in, or I would try to stop dancing with Jesus. It just wasn't working. Then He showed me--my husband is dancing with Jesus, too. He's right beside me, dancing with Jesus. The four of us, on the dance floor. Then I saw the two figures of Jesus converge into one, and at the same time, my husband converged with me. We literally became one person--one flesh. And as that one flesh, we danced with Jesus together. Pressed in to Him, loving Him, being one with each other and at the same time, being one with the Lord.
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