It was close to 5 am when we pulled out of the parking lot, and I was already exhausted. Darkness enveloped us, and the moon was nowhere to be seen. We were headed to Waco for a school trip, and I was the less-than-enthusiastic bus driver. So I filled myself with a determination to stay awake and caffeine--lots of caffeine.
As I was driving down I-35, the sky began to ever so slowly brighten. The lyrics to Rita Springer's song You Never Change came to my mind that say, "You are the sunrise; there is no mistaking Your light." As I looked around me, there was indeed no mistaking the light that was forthcoming. The sun was yet to peek above the horizon, but the brightness of the morning was already evident.
As I got my first glimpse of the sun, the lyrics hit even harder. There is no man-made light that could be comparable to the sun. There's never been a time where I saw a light and wondered, "Oh, is that the sun?" Only the sun is the sun, and it's unmistakable.
In the same way, God’s hand on my life is unmistakable. As I look back over the past forty years, I can see the indelible footprint of the Lord every step of the way. Even when I didn't feel Him, I can look back and see where He was. 2019 was no exception, as it was the most difficult year of my life. God has shown me and taught me so much over the past several months as I grieved the dissolution of my marriage.
As the calendar turned over to 2020, I mourned the life I was promised on my wedding day just over a year ago. My life was turned upside down, and I lost so much. God reminded me of that sunrise on the way to Waco. He reminded me that His mercies are new every morning. And that great is His faithfulness (Lamentations 3:23). He reminded me that sorrow may last the whole night, but joy comes in the morning light. (Psalm 30:5) He reminded me that all of that is in the past, and that 2020 is a new morning for me--that joy is coming for 2020.
So when I get weary, when I get tired, I can be still and know that He is God. I can rest assured that this is no longer my mourning season, but it's my morning season.
Thank you so much for this post Lindsey. It is exactly what I believe God wanted me to hear. I too had my marriage (of 15 years) end last year (it was a mixed bag thing for sure), but I still often feel stuck. I know God is calling me to joy, to live a new life filled with hope and his promises but I often get stuck in the hurt from my dark and lonely past. Your blog gives me some hope that healing can happen but we have to be observant to what God is showing us.
ReplyDeleteYou're welcome, and I'm so thankful it gives you hope. That's the whole point of this blog. And healing can happen, but it's not easy at all. God promises us that He will be there with us, though. Thank you!
Delete