Summertime means outdoor adventures. I had borrowed a huge RV camper from my friend Joe for this particular adventure. We parked it at a beautiful campsite near the mountains and a lake, and the girls and I spent a glorious seven days reveling in nature. Swimming, hiking, fishing, Jeeping, relaxing. The time to pack up and head home arrived, and I was getting impatient. I hadn't driven the RV before, but I knew I could drive it. I have a bus driver license, and I can drive a school bus no problem. I walked around the RV to check out any potential obstacles. A 10-foot blue concrete wall stood near where I needed to back up, but if I turned the wheel just right, I’d be in the clear. I was confident.
I crank the engine up and check my mirrors. I slowly release my foot from the brake and start to back up. Something in me says I should wait for Joe to get there to back up his RV. I shake it off, because I really do know what I’m doing. I back out of the spot perfectly, and I put the RV in drive to pull forward.
I glance in the rearview mirror, and I'm dumbfounded. I spin around to behold the rubble. The whole back end of the RV is in tattered pieces. I can see the blue sky out of the back of the RV. The roof metal is peeled back, and the insulation on the side walls is falling to the ground. Jagged pieces of metal and wood stick out over the neatly made queen-sized bed in the back of the RV.
There was no crash; no sound. I’m speechless. My eyes dart back and forth. I didn’t hit anything—there was nothing to hit. But clearly, the debris strewn around tells a different story.
I hop down out of the RV and walk gingerly around to the back of the RV. I was at least six feet from the concrete wall. There was nothing I could have possibly hit to cause this damage—no trees, no overhangs, no buildings, no other RV's or vehicles.
Tears come to my eyes. By the time I pick up my phone to call Joe and tell him what happened, I'm hysterical. I didn’t know how to explain it. I didn’t know what happened. I didn’t know how I could help him pay for the damage. I kept saying I would fix it. I would fix it.
When I woke up from this dream, the Lord showed me that when I am full of pride, I ignore the voice of the Holy Spirit. I think I can do things on my own that only the Holy Spirit should do. The Holy Spirit warned me to wait, but my pride in what I felt like I could do on my own caused me to ignore His voice.
Next, there are hidden dangers that I cannot see when I try to back up the RV. Only the Holy Spirit can see those dangers and steer clear of them. I can look all I want, but I don't have the same perspective as the Father. Only He can see the big picture, and only He knows all the dangers lurking. As much as I try, I will never see everything, and I have to learn to trust that He does.
Then He showed me that I can and will do damage to myself and those around me if I don’t wait on the Holy Spirit. If I choose to ignore the Holy Spirit, I will create bigger issues for myself that easily could be avoided had I just listened and obeyed.
Lastly, with that pride again. Instead of relying on the Lord to fix what I clearly messed up, I thought I could fix it myself. As if I would have the money to fix that RV, or as if I would have the know-how to do it. But I thought I could fix it. I have to learn to give that up, too. Only God can fix it.
I would think I should have learned this lesson by now, but I haven’t. I’m working on trusting the Lord to drive my RV. And if I can learn to trust Him to drive the RV, there won't be any RV crashes that need to be fixed, either.
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